Boardwalk Empire VFX Breakdowns of Season 2 from Brainstorm Digital on Vimeo.

Did you know that actor Jack Huston–who plays Richard Harrow, the disfigured war veteran who does Jimmy Darmody’s bidding on Boardwalk Empire–doesn’t actually have a mangled face in real life? It’s true! Here’s an entertaining before-and-after video that highlights the use of CGI and other post-production special effects on the HBO show. (And just in case you were wondering, Steve Buscemi‘s character isn’t a computer-generated image; he always looks like that.)

What is this, communist China? Can't a girl get a few hours of sleep during the work day?

OK, OK. Everyone shut-up. This is important. It’s a new product designed by Kawamura Ganjavian, and it’s described as the “pocket pillow for nap.” The concept is fairly straightforward: Simply shove your head into this weird face-and-hand Snuggie and lay down on your desk during an important meeting. Then wait for the bonus dollars to roll on in. Oh, and when you’re not using it for mid-day naps, it could easily double as an oversized onesie for that baby the government is about to take away from you for, you know, being batshit crazy.

Filed under: Advertising, Celebrity, Humor & Comedy, Products, Video Tagged: Danny McBride, Eastbound and Down, K-Swiss, Kenny Powers, Marketing, Sneakers ]]> http://justinegoodman.com/2012/01/18/kenny-powers-for-k-swiss/feed/ 1 justinegoodman http://justinegoodman.com/2012/01/13/7-things-unemployed-people-should-not-be-overheard-saying/ http://justinegoodman.com/2012/01/13/7-things-unemployed-people-should-not-be-overheard-saying/#comments Fri, 13 Jan 2012 22:42:34 +0000 Justine Goodman http://justinegoodman.com/?p=902 ]]>

I need a vacation! (Image via Julia Tarquinio)

If you don’t have a job, here are some things you should never say out loud–particularly if you’re collecting unemployment insurance.

“Ugh, lobster again?”

“I prefer the cafe at Bergdorf’s.”

“I drank too much Champagne last night.”

“I’d like to use these food stamps to buy that caviar.”

“Keep the change.”

“I can’t decide between Shiatsu and deep tissue.”

“Mitt Romney for president!”

This is my mom in 1967, when there was no internet or HBO and everything was boring.

Although I typically write about fun things like celebrities and booze–or, as my mom might say, “things you don’t need to go to Brown for”–sometimes I have occasion to cover more serious subjects. Case in point: My new article about the history of abortion in New York State for On The Issues Magazine. For the piece, I interviewed my mother, Emily Jane Goodman, who was one of the lawyers on the original legal team that sought to challenge New York’s anti-abortion laws in 1969, before the passage of Roe v. Wade at the federal level. Sounds fun, right? Read it at On the Issues.

Seth Meyers was pushing for me. Or whatever.

Each fall, before the start of a new television season, Saturday Night Live accepts submissions from comedy writers looking to write jokes on a freelance basis for Weekend Update. To my knowledge, pretty much anyone can apply; the only prerequisite is that you know who to contact in the writer’s room. They generally respond to every inquiry, and the guidelines are fairly straightforward:

We would like you to write a total of 10 jokes based on news stories the occurred between September 6th and September 15, 2011. We are interested in seeing how you write for current events. We do not want old material. Also, please do not submit more than 10 jokes. To help you, I am enclosing a couple of pages of set-ups. You are not limited to the stories from these set-ups, but any stories you use must have occurred during the stated time period.

We are looking for solid, traditional monologue jokes. I.E. Two line jokes. Set-up followed by a punchline. We do not want Daily Show style rants. Please do not send in bits, shorts sketches, or anything involving other cast members. Do not submit jokes with multiple punchlines. They will count as separate jokes.

If you are accepted, there’s no guarantee that anything you write will ever make it to air. In fact, there’s a strong possibility that it won’t. But you still get to say you’re a freelance joke-writer at SNL, and that plays better on a résumé than “dog walker.” I have no idea of how many people typically apply, and even less of an idea of how many are accepted. I wasn’t. In fact, I was rejected in record time, just hours after emailing my submission. So, just in case you’re wondering what not to do, here are a few of the jokes that didn’t get me a job writing for Weekend Update.  

1. In a new international poll, America was voted the world’s “Coolest Nationality.” Meanwhile, the award for “Most Likely to Succeed” went to that bitch China.
2. This week the Democratic National Committee unveiled its new slogan, “Change that matters.” Republicans responded by revealing their new slogan: “Once, you go black. Then you go back.”
3. The Federal Trade Commission has blocked two developers from claiming that their mobile apps treat acne. The FTC then rejected a new drug that claims to treat Alzheimer’s by making you forget you have it.
4. A new study indicates that raising children leads to lower testosterone levels in men. The findings don’t mean you shouldn’t have kids; you just shouldn’t spend time with them.
5. A judge has ordered a man in France to pay his ex-wife $14,000 for failing to sexually satisfy her during their 21 years of marriage. Asked for comment, the ex-wife said that it was a hard 21 years—just not hard enough.
6. GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann is being criticized for suggesting the HPV vaccine may cause mental retardation. She has since recanted, admitting that doctors don’t know what caused her condition.

This is you when I'm offline.

Remember that time I said I was going to L.A., and wouldn’t be posting for a few days, and then a few days turned into like six months? Whoops! Well, now I’m back, and I’ve exhausted all reasonable excuses for why I don’t have time to write on this thing, so from now on I’ll aim to post at least a few times a week.

Check back later for an inside look at some jokes that won’t get you a job freelancing for Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live–just one of the many things I learned in the last few months.

That being said, I won’t be posting anything of substance for at least another week, because I’m going to Los Angeles for a few days. See you on the flipside.

Open mic night: There’s a reason why there’s a rope and a stool!

A Oregon teenager stabbed himself to death on stage after performing at an open mic night. His motives remain unclear, though if you’re even attending an open mic night, that’s reason enough to kill yourself.

Kobe Bryant has experience with public apologies.

Kobe Bryant yelled an anti-gay slur at a referee during a Lakers game after he was slapped with a technical foul. He later apologized, but the ref says he’s still looking forward to the part where Kobe buys him a diamond ring.