Sorry for the hiatus, but I’m still on hiatus.
I know, I know. I’ve been delinquent about posting the last few weeks. I’ve super busy with such glamorous activities as subletting my apartment, moving back into my mom’s crib (“temporarily”) and monitoring Google alerts for my name. I’m sorry. I also have several totally insipid terrific articles that have recently rolled out, but who really cares. I promise to post more often.
That being said, I won’t be posting anything of substance for at least another week, because I’m going to Los Angeles for a few days. See you on the flipside.
Open Mic Nights are Embarrassing for Everyone.
- Open mic night: There’s a reason why there’s a rope and a stool!
A Oregon teenager stabbed himself to death on stage after performing at an open mic night. His motives remain unclear, though if you’re even attending an open mic night, that’s reason enough to kill yourself.
Headlines: Kobe Bryant
- Kobe Bryant has experience with public apologies.
Kobe Bryant yelled an anti-gay slur at a referee during a Lakers game after he was slapped with a technical foul. He later apologized, but the ref says he’s still looking forward to the part where Kobe buys him a diamond ring.
Headlines: Brangelina
Brad Pitt and his brood. (Photo: Us Weekly)
This week, Brad Pitt took his kids on an early Easter egg hunt. It was a huge success, until they brought the eggs home and Angelina tried to fertilize them.
PopEater: ‘Mommie Dearest’ – The Worst Celebrity Parents in History
Last week, the blogs were aflutter with the news that Katy Perry’s Evangelical mother is trying to sell a book about her daughter’s sinful lifestyle, and it got us thinking about other parents who have displayed questionable judgment when it comes to their famous offspring. Read on for a roundup of Hollywood’s most notoriously unfit parents, from the Lohans to Joe Jackson.
Dina and Michael Lohan
With role models like these, it’s no wonder Lindsay “Lindsay” Lohan turned to drugs and alcohol just to stay afloat. Michael is the only Lohan who has a longer rap sheet than Lindsay, with charges ranging from insider trading to driving under the influence to attempted assault. And the only thing he does more frequently than talk to the press about Lindsay is booze. Meanwhile, Dina is desperate to be a pseudo-celebrity in her own right, and conceived that god-awful reality show ‘Living Lohan’ as a way to capitalize on her other potential cash cow, daughter Ali. She even invited a crew from ‘Entertainment Tonight’ to film the troubled Lindsay while she was in drug rehab. Parents of the year these two losers aren’t. Read more…
Headlines: Susan Lucci
Susan Lucci (left) is super old. (Photo via Television Without Pity)
ABC has announced possible plans to cancel its long-running soap opera All My Children. A rep for star Susan Lucci confirms that the actress is looking forward to pursuing other projects, like making sculptures out of Popsicle sticks at her new nursing home.
Headlines: Sammy Hagar
Sammy Hagar is crazy. (Photo: LA Times)
In his new memoir, Sami Hagar claims to have been abducted by aliens. Apparently the aliens brainwashed Hagar, and then told him what to say to sell more books.
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