Things You Need: The Office Sleeping Bag

What is this, communist China? Can't a girl get a few hours of sleep during the work day?

OK, OK. Everyone shut-up. This is important. It’s a new product designed by Kawamura Ganjavian, and it’s described as the “pocket pillow for nap.” The concept is fairly straightforward: Simply shove your head into this weird face-and-hand Snuggie and lay down on your desk during an important meeting. Then wait for the bonus dollars to roll on in. Oh, and when you’re not using it for mid-day naps, it could easily double as an oversized onesie for that baby the government is about to take away from you for, you know, being batshit crazy.

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Product: Portable Beer Pong Table


Meatheads, Yale-style

The only thing better than absurd drinking paraphernalia is absurd drinking-game paraphernalia, and nothing says “I’m a douchebag” quite like carrying around an inflatable beer pong table. Which is exactly why the $45 Portopong will make the perfect holiday gift for that special frat boy* in your life. As with most alcohol-related products–like the booze belt, another real gem–the Portopong is entirely practical to haul around town, you know, just in case you find yourself back in college. Then again, if you carry both the Portopong and an air mattress around with you at all times, you can play beer pong whenever you want without ever having to worry about where you’re going to pass out afterwards. Order now before the manufacturer jacks up the price due to overwhelming demand. Just kidding.

*Contrary to the scene depicted in the photo, this is obviously not a toy for nerds, but rather for the quarterbacks who torment them. It’s just that that photo was taken at a Yale tailgating party. Go figure.

Crazy Japanese Fun Time Yum Yum Candy Explosion!

Crunky Fun Time!

Regular readers may have noticed my recent obsession with Japanese goods and trends. And while I’ve tried to kick the habit, it’s really an insurmountable task as long as I continue to stumble across products like the Crunky Walking Bar. There’s nothing particularly special about this delicious treat, other than the fact that IT IS CALLED THE CRUNKY WALKING BAR. That is all.

 

 

Product: The Human Vending Machine

Insert Coin Here.

Just when we thought the products coming out of Japan couldn’t get any cooler – or, as the case may be, mind-blowingly useless – we came across the Human Vending Machine. Much to our dismay, no Human Vending Machines could be reached for comment, but evidently, the product is a cross between a vending machine and a newsstand, with the added benefit that, in this case, the vendor happens to be a pretty young girl rather than a smelly old man or a metal contraption. And at the end of the day, when it comes to buying a newspaper or a pack of cigarettes, isn’t that all that really matters?