I need a vacation! (Image via Julia Tarquinio)

If you don’t have a job, here are some things you should never say out loud–particularly if you’re collecting unemployment insurance.

“Ugh, lobster again?”

“I prefer the cafe at Bergdorf’s.”

“I drank too much Champagne last night.”

“I’d like to use these food stamps to buy that caviar.”

“Keep the change.”

“I can’t decide between Shiatsu and deep tissue.”

“Mitt Romney for president!”