Oh, Snap! Equinox vs. The Catholic League

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Evidently The Catholic League is none too pleased about Equinox‘s latest ad campaign, which depicts a series of sexy, fairytale-esque scenes shot by Ellen von Unwerth. In particular, they take issue with the hot nuns with exposed legs sketching the hot naked dude with exposed everything. The ads aren’t in rotation in New York yet, but will be making their city-wide debut forthwith. In the meantime, Equinox is more than happy to exacerbate the situation by giving New Yorkers a sneak peek of what it has in store for our local magazines, billboards, and subways by displaying the new ads in the windows at three of their locations (50th Street, 19th Street and Greenwich Avenue), from now through Friday.

I belong to one of Equinox’s competitors, so I can’t say I know for sure what their clientele is like. But I can say that my gym is filled with fatties and old people, and if I ever once had to look at someone like the models above while “running” my 12-minute mile, I’d either kill myself or kill them. To be fair though, while these ads don’t necessarily make me want to join Equinox (or ever leave my apartment again, for that matter), they do make me want to join a convent and take up sketching.

Citysearch: What Would the ’08 Candidates Drink? A Super Tuesday Special Report

BESTPIX  U.S. President Barack Obama Visits Ireland
Super Tuesday is finally upon us, and while a gaggle of legitimate news outlets will be focused on boring us to death with talk of “precincts,” “delegates” and “exit polls,” we at Citysearch are bringing you the kind of hard-hitting, no-nonsense reporting that really matters. Specifically, we’re investigating a question that is of the utmost importance when it comes to selecting a new leader of the free world: “What would the presidential candidates drink, and where would they drink it?”

So, if you’re wondering how Obama’s plan to get the hell outta Dodge (where by “Dodge” I mean “Baghdad”) compares to McCain’s plan to keep us there for another 100 years, I couldn’t tell you. And if you’re unsure of how Clinton’s plan to offer universal health care differs from Romney’s plan to withhold it, I just don’t know. But what I do know is that by the time the polls close on Tuesday night, all of the candidates, winners and losers alike, will be fiending for a liquid fix.

So here’s our take on what and where each of them would drink–if the cameras (and evangelists) weren’t watching.  Continue reading

YRB Magazine Interview: Rapper Lil’ Jon

Crunk Ain’t Dead.

February 14th is Valentine’s Day, also known as the easiest day of the year to get laid. You’ll still have to pay for it – but with flowers and chocolate instead of by the hour. Hey, romance might be dead, but take solace in the fact that like sweet crunk music, love is alive and well – just ask Lil’ Jon. We did, and here’s what the original dirty South rapper had to say.

JG: In “Lovers and Friends” you talk about “knowing a girl for a long time, but fuckin’ never crossed your mind.” Is that your definition of love?
LJ: Well, that was in the ‘friends’ context… . If you got a homegirl that’s your homegirl, sometimes you don’t never even think about crossing that line. That’s what that was about, just having a female that’s your friend. But sometimes, someone that you’re friends with, something might happen where you just look at someone in a different way, like, ‘Damn, this person been around me all this time, and now I see something else.’ When I first met my wife, I knew that was someone I wanted to be with. We was friends for a lotta years before we even started. And really, the friends in your life are the ones you end up settling down with, only because you known them the longest, you trust them the longest, they know everything about you, and they’re your friend.  Continue reading

Citysearch: Places We’d Like to See Squashed by the Cloverfield Monster

Cloverfield_movie_poster

Photo: Cloverfield hits theaters this weekend

Lady Liberty is just one of the New York City landmarks that takes a beating in the highly anticipated new monster movie, “Cloverfield,” which hits theaters today. From what I can surmise, the premise goes something like this: Young, fun-loving crowd of New Yorkers are at one of those cheesy parties where the hosts videotape their guests talking about how totally awesome the party is, when all hell breaks loose. Suddenly New York is under attack by a savage, futuristic-Godzilla-style monster. Chaos and massive destruction ensue as said monster proceeds to obliterate everything (and everyone) in its path, all but leveling the city. But every movie has a hero (although judging from the “Cloverfield” cast, that hero needn’t be a celebrity), and ours turns out to be one of the dudes who was at that party before all the madness began. Ultimately, that guy, whoever he is, leads a mission to defeat the monster, thereby restoring order and saving the city. 

With any luck, “Cloverfield” will deliver at least one good old-fashioned impaling–perhaps one that involves the Empire State Building needle, for example–but suffice it to say that there will be blood. So, at the risk of offending a broad spectrum of our audience, we’re paying tribute to this epic movie with a little hit list of our own: Places We’d Like to See Squashed by the “Cloverfield” Monster. Continue reading

Craigslist Keepers: Post of the Century

Future_boy

Tell your co-workers that you’ll be busy sending mass emails to everyone you know for the rest of the afternoon. 

Now, this is not even remotely related to anything we generally write about, but it just seemed inhumane not to share the above Craiglist post, which was placed on the Greenville, South Carolina, “strictly platonic” personals boards several days ago, but only just came to my attention. It says:

Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

Whomever conceived this is my new personal hero, and I am going to reply to the post and inquire as to whether I can accompany him on his quest in time back to the ’80s, when that whole high-top-fade-meets-mullet look was in vogue.

SNL Writers, Players & Andy Samberg Groupies Turn Out to Support Writers Guild

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It was a full house Monday evening at Comix where assorted Saturday Night Live writers and players both past and present participated in a comedy event to benefit the striking Writers Guild of America, East. In keeping with the trend of wearing your support for the writers on your face, “strike beards” were in full effect, and the overall mood seemed to indicate that no one expects to return to work anytime soon.  Continue reading

An Evening with the Cast of MTV’s Human Giant

Photo: Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari are Human Giant

Ordinarily, the chances of me going out on a Monday night are nil, especially in this brick-ass cold. But with my television withdrawal giving me an increasingly nasty case of the shakes, I took the opportunity to check out last night’s sneak preview of the new season of Human Giant–the best thing to happen to MTV‘s comedy programming (or rather, MTV period) since The State— hosted by the Human Giants themselves.

As any proper night should, this one began with drinks. Various members of the press (editors and writers from Maxim, the NY Post, the Village Voice, ASCAP, Giant and other publications) assembled beforehand at West Chelsea haunt Half King, along with the show’s stars, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari, before making the troupe to the UCB Theater. Continue reading